Each week we will post some follow up questions for you to continue the conversation about sexual integrity at home. This series is more powerful when the church and family partner together!
Week 2: Sex was made to matter.
Girls Follow-Up Questions:
1. When you run away from something, you have to run toward something else. Talk with your student about some things they need to run away from (the things that have negative effects), but also talk about the things they should be running towards (the things that have positive effects)! Examples we gave in class were:
Run from . . .
• Letting culture and music and movies define what kind of person you’re going
to be or what does or doesn’t matter in life.
• Mindlessly watching, listening to, and engaging in messages about sex that act like it’s no big deal.
• Anyone from your life who blurs your view of sex by trying to convince you it’s no big deal.
And run toward . . .
• Being a person who honors others.
• Being a person who is strong enough to say no to yourself or somebody else.
• Being a person who refuses to see sex as casual
2. Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? (1 Corinthians 6:19a NLT).This was a rhetorical question. Paul knew the people of Corinth knew the answer. Your body, which was given to you by God, was meant to belong to God. God doesn’t treat it casually, so you shouldn’t either. God created us as whole beings and cares about every part of us - physically and spiritually! Talk with you students about how when it comes to sex they might be seeing their bodies too casually, but also discuss other ways we might be treating our bodies too casually (think diet, exercise, mental health, emotional health, spiritual health etc…) and what are some practical ways you can together start treating your bodies as temples of the holy and living God.
3. This week we also talked about sex being way more powerful than we give it credit for. So what was intended to be powerfully good in marriage becomes powerfully harmful in promises made casually. If you have had experience with sexual immortality that has negatively impacted your heart, your emotions, your future, your reputation, or your conscience share those experiences and those impacts with your student. Don’t share to "scare" them into not making your mistakes, but share to show God’s goodness and his redemptive work in your life!
* We don’t want to unload our own baggage on our students, so if there is still pain from that situation, maybe now isn’t the time to share. There’s no such thing as past pain, so even if it happened in the past, if there’s pain it’s present. And that’s okay! We can trust the fast AND slow healing work of God in our own life.
Guys Follow-Up Questions:
1. The main point of this week is that sex was made to matter. In our world sex is treated so casually, but God places great value on us and our sexual integrity. Affirm this message to your student. Sex is not a bad thing, it is a powerful thing and we should treat it as such.
2. We talked in class about running from sexual sin. Have a conversation about temptations in your students life? What is going on at their school, in social media, or elsewhere that might be tempting for them. This could be an opportunity to share who sex has been a temptation in your life or in your world.
3. We ended our time talking about boundaries. These boundaries could be in a relationship or in ones personal life. Have a discussion with your student about what boundaries that have/want in their life. This could be a great opportunity to talk about how you can support them in their sexual integrity. That might look like installing a filter on their mobile device or setting up some accountability with your student if they are in a relationship. If you and your student have a goal of sexual integrity in their life, how can you help achieve that? What boundaries might need to be put into place?
Week 1: We are fearfully and wonderfully made, so we should value ourselves and others and never treat anyone as an object.
Girls Follow-Up Questions:
- My favorite line of the lesson this week is "the decisions you make when it comes to sex are almost always connected to how you see you." Spend some time with your daughter(s) this week sharing stories about your own journey of how you've grown in the ways you see yourself, talk about how they see themselves, and how God sees them. Think of ways that you can hold each other accountable in viewing yourselves as God's masterpieces, fearfully and wonderfully made.
- In looking at Matthew 5:27 & 28 we see Jesus telling us that sex is more than just behavior, but it has a lot to do with our hearts. Here Jesus isn't saying don't have sex because you'll be in trouble AND even thinking about sex will also get you in trouble. What Jesus is saying is that how you see the world and how you see each other will either make life better or worse for both of you. And I want more for you. Sex isn't part of a list of dos and don'ts - it's part of how we orientate our hearts. Ask your daughter why they think Jesus cares so much about our hearts when it comes to sex.
Guys Follow-Up Questions:
- It is so important that young men understand the different between valuing women and seeing them as objects. God created everyone, so everyone is to be valued as a creation of God. Discuss the difference between valuing other people and using them as objects.
- We touched briefly on pornography in class this morning. Pornography is a huge way in which people view others as objects. Have a discussion about the dangers of pornography with your child. Do you have any safeguards in place to help them in this battle? Check out https://www.fightthenewdrug.org/overview. If you need some resources for filters or safeguards, let me know.
- I love this line from the lesson this week. "He’s not out to guilt you or shame you, but to remind you that all of us were made to be more than objects. And when we start seeing one another that way, we’ll begin treating one another that way. And in turn, we’ll make better decisions when it comes to sex and relationships." Talk to your son about how you can help them move towards seeing themselves and others as people of value and not objects. Are there safeguards you can put in places as a family to help them with this?
Hello OP Youth Parents,
Starting February 10, we will be working through a sexual integrity series on Sunday mornings. In the culture we live in, it is important for the church and family to tackle issues like sexual integrity. It is our hope that this series will challenge our students and prompt some great discussion at home. We want you to have all the information, so here is your home base for this series.
- We chose Sunday morning because this is when we have the most attendance for our weekly offerings. We want as many students as possible to be here for this series.
- We will split guys and girls on Sunday mornings for this series. 6th-12th will be all together but we will have times where we will split middle school and high school up for some more focused and age specific discussions.
- We will start class as close to 9:45 as possible each week so please help by encouraging your student to be on time.
- Below you will see the curriculum we are using linked for each week. Feel free to read through the script that Orange provides us. We will be using this curriculum as a basis for our lessons each week. The big ideas are there, but we will tailor the lessons to each group. You can read through the lessons here, and each week we will post some information about the lesson that week so that you can continue the conversation at home. MS and HS lessons are linked below. We will be using both lessons to create our final lesson that week.
- This is a sexual integrity series and we will use that terminology instead of "purity." Many scholars and experts in adolescence have moved away from the term purity. Purity is often seen as an all or nothing thing. If you have gone too far sexually in a relationship you have lost that purity and feel unworthy and unclean. Or, purity becomes all about a line that we can't cross but everything else is ok. We want to challenge students to view the sexual temptations in the world as a matter of integrity. In all things, the way we treat ourselves, others, the things we look at, the way we talk/act, and so much more we want to move towards holiness. So, we will be using the language of sexual integrity.
- This topic is one that we will not shy away from. You have our commitment that we will make sure to keep things age specific and appropriate. We are going to make it very clear to students that we are here for them to continue these conversations outside of the classroom. We love these students and are committed to tackling difficult issues while make sure to keep things age appropriate.
We are praying for this series and the conversations that can result from it. We love partnering with the families at OP and we need you for this series. A sexual integrity series is most successful when the conversations are followed up at home. We know it can be awkward, but God is faithful and will bless your conversations, however awkward. In all things, it is our desire to partner with parents in the spiritual formation of students. Let us know of any questions you have or ways we can be of service.
Grace & Peace,
Lizzy & Ryan